Here is one reason why webcam sex is not always good.

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, ‘Harry, what’s your problem ?’
Harry answered, ‘I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!’
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal : ‘What is 3 x 3 ?’
Harry : ’9.’
Principal : ‘What is 6 x 6 ?’
Harry : ’36.’
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, ‘I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.’
Ms. Brooks says to the principal,’ Let me ask him some questions.’
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, ‘What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?’
Harry, after a moment: ‘Legs.’
Ms Brooks: ‘What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?’
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question?
Harry replied : ‘Pockets.’
Ms. Brooks : ‘What does a dog do that a man steps into?’
Harry : ‘Pants.’
Ms. Brooks : What starts with a C , ends with a T , is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid ?’
Harry : ‘ Coconut.’
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks : ‘ What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky ?’
The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, ‘Bubble gum.’
Ms. Brooks : ‘What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs ?’
Harry : ‘Shake hands.’
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks : ‘What word starts with an ‘F ‘ and ends in ‘ K ‘ that means a lot of heat and excitement ?’
Harry : ‘Firetruck.’
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, ‘Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong’.

Do you know some other version of this joke? Please write a comment here.
PS. Don’t bother spamming me. I have Askimet installed

The three fastest ways of communication in the world:
- Tele-phone
- Tele-vision
- Tell-a – woman
You still want faster?
- Tell her not to tell anyone!

If you go on vacation or business to Europe look how you can tell fake Euro from the original one.

“Of course I won’t laugh,” the doctor said. “I’m a professional. In over twenty years I’ve never laughed at a patient.”

“Okay then,” Fred said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest penis the doctor had ever seen.

It couldn’t have been the size of a peanut. Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, and then fell laughing to the floor.

Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.

“I’m so sorry, “Said the doctor, “I really am….. I don’t know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won’t happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?”

“It’s swollen,” Fred replied

Bob was in trouble. He forgot his wedding anniversary. His wife was
really pissed.

She told him “Tomorrow morning, I expect to find a gift in the
driveway that goes from 0 to 200 in 6 seconds AND IT BETTER BE THERE !!”

The next morning he got up early and left for work. When his wife woke
up, she looked out the window and sure enough there was a box
gift-wrapped in the middle of the driveway.

Confused, the wife put on her robe and ran out to the driveway, brought
the box back in the house.

She opened it and found a brand new bathroom scale.

Bob has been missing since Friday.

An old lady is rocking away the last of her days on her front porch, reflecting on her long life, when, all of a sudden, a fairy godmother appears in front of her and informs her that she will be granted three wishes.

“Well, now,” says the old lady, “I guess I would like to be really, really rich.” ***POOF*** her rocking chair turns to solid gold. She smiles and says, “Gee, I guess I wouldn’t mind being a young, beautiful princess.” ***POOF*** she turns into a beautiful young woman.

“Your third wish?” asked the fairy godmother. Just then the old woman’s cat wanders across the porch in front of them. “Ooh…can you change him into a handsome prince?” she asks. ***POOF*** there before her stands a young man more handsome than anyone could possibly imagine.

She stares at him, smitten. With a smile that makes her knees weak. He saunters across the porch and whispers in her ear: “Bet you’re sorry you had me neutered!”

Funny picture illustrating the 31st Anniversary of Brazil edition of Playboy.

One day Lone Ranger and his side kick Tonto were out riding when Lone Ranger jad to take a piss. So Lone Ranger goes over to the bush pulls down his pants and then he screams. He runs over to Tonto and says, “Tonto I’ve been bitten by a snake on my penis go to town and ask the doctor what to do.”
So Tonto rides to town and goes to the doctor and says “Doctor, Lone Ranger has been bit by a snake what do I do?”
The doctor looks at Tonto and says, “You take a knife and make an x on the spot where he was bit, then you suck out the venim.”
Tonto thanks the doctor and rides back to Lone Ranger and Lone Ranger asks “What did the doctor say?”
Tonto looks at Lone Ranger and says “Doctor say you gonna die!”

Lady Next Door With Daddy
This little boy wakes up three nights in a row when he hears thumping coming from his parents bedroom. Finally one morning he goes to his mom and says, “Mommy, every night I wake up and hear you and Daddy making noises and when I look into your room your bouncing up and down on him.”
His mother replies with, “Oh,..well…ah…well I’m bouncing on his stomach because he’s fat and that squishes his belly down and makes him thin again..”
The boy replies, “Duh, mom, that won’t work because the lady next door just comes over every day and blows him back up.