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A man walks into a drugstore and asks the pharmacist for a pack of condoms. Paying for them, he bursts into laughter and walks out of the store. The next day he comes in again, again buys condoms, and again walks out laughing. Thinking this is somewhat strange, the pharmacist asks his assistant to follow the man if he comes back. Sure enough, the man comes in the next day and walks out laughing. This time the assistant goes after him, returning 20 minutes later.

“So did you follow him?” asks the pharmacist.

“Yup.”

“Where did he go?”

“Your house.”

Little John was sitting resolve some maths problems when the teacher asked him a question:
- If there would be 5 birds on the branch of a tree and i shoot one, how many birds would remain?
- Noone - said John - cuz one would die n fall and the other ones would fly away due to the shoot.
- Well, i was hoping you to say 4, but i like the way you think.
So, little John standed up and said.
- Excuse me, but i want to make you a question too: If there would be 3 women sitting and eating an ice cream, one of them would be licking it, the 2nd one would be bitting it, and the other would be sucking it….which of them would be married?
So the teacher blushed and ansered:
- Actually im not sure, but…. i guess the one that is sucking it.
- Wrong - said little John - the one that would be married should be the one that have a wedding ring in her finger…… but i like the way you think.

What do you call a blonde in an institute for higher learning?
A: A visitor.

Q: What do you call an eternity?
A: Four Blondes in four cars at a four way stop.

Q: Why do Blondes have TGIF written on their shoes?
A: Toes Go In First.

Q: What do SMART Blondes and UFO’s have in common?
A: You always hear about them but never see them.

Q: What did the Blonde say when she opened the box of Cheerios?
A: Oh look, Daddy…Doughnut seeds.

Q: Why did the Blonde stare at the can of frozen orange juice?
A: Because it said concentrate.

Q: Why do blondes always smile during lightning storms?
A: They think their picture is being taken.

Q: How can you tell when a Blonde sends you a fax?
A: It has a stamp on it.

This blonde decides one day that she is sick and tired of all the blonde jokes and how all blondes are perceived as stupid, so she decides to show her husband that blondes really are smart.
While her husband is off at work, she decides that she is going to paint a couple of rooms in the house.
The next day, right after her husband leaves for work, she gets down to the task at hand.
Her husband arrives home at 5:30 and detects the distinctive smell of paint. He walks into the living room and finds his wife lying on the floor in a pool of sweat.
He notices that she is wearing a ski jacket and a fur coat at the same time. He goes over and asks her if she is OK.
She replies, “Yes.”
He asks what she is doing.
She replies that she wanted to prove to him that not all blonde women are dumb and she wanted to do it by painting the house.
He then asks her why she has on a ski jacket and a fur coat.
She replies that she was reading the directions on the paint can and they said, “For best results, put on two coats.”

Here is one reason why webcam sex is not always good.

A first-grade teacher, Ms. Brooks, was having trouble with one of her students. The teacher asked, ‘Harry, what’s your problem ?’
Harry answered, ‘I’m too smart for the 1st grade. My sister is in the 3rd grade and I’m smarter than she is! I think I should be in the 3rd grade too!’
Ms. Brooks had had enough. She took Harry to the principal’s office.
While Harry waited in the outer office, the teacher explained to the principal what the situation was. The principal told Ms. Brooks he would give the boy a test. If he failed to answer any of his questions he was to go back to the 1st grade and behave. She agreed.
Harry was brought in and the conditions were explained to him and he agreed to take the test.
Principal : ‘What is 3 x 3 ?’
Harry : ‘9.’
Principal : ‘What is 6 x 6 ?’
Harry : ‘36.’
And so it went with every question the principal thought a 3rd grader should know.
The principal looks at Ms. Brooks and tells her, ‘I think Harry can go to the 3rd grade.’
Ms. Brooks says to the principal,’ Let me ask him some questions.’
The principal and Harry both agreed.
Ms. Brooks asks, ‘What does a cow have four of that I have only two of?’
Harry, after a moment: ‘Legs.’
Ms Brooks: ‘What is in your pants that you have but I do not have?’
The principal wondered why would she ask such a question?
Harry replied : ‘Pockets.’
Ms. Brooks : ‘What does a dog do that a man steps into?’
Harry : ‘Pants.’
Ms. Brooks : What starts with a C , ends with a T , is hairy, oval, delicious and contains thin, whitish liquid ?’
Harry : ‘ Coconut.’
The principal sat forward with his mouth hanging open.
Ms. Brooks : ‘ What goes in hard and pink then comes out soft and sticky ?’
The principal’s eyes opened really wide and before he could stop the answer, Harry replied, ‘Bubble gum.’
Ms. Brooks : ‘What does a man do standing up, a woman does sitting down and a dog does on three legs ?’
Harry : ‘Shake hands.’
The principal was trembling.
Ms. Brooks : ‘What word starts with an ‘F ‘ and ends in ‘ K ‘ that means a lot of heat and excitement ?’
Harry : ‘Firetruck.’
The principal breathed a sigh of relief and told the teacher, ‘Put Harry in the fifth-grade, I got the last seven questions wrong’.

Do you know some other version of this joke? Please write a comment here.
PS. Don’t bother spamming me. I have Askimet installed

The three fastest ways of communication in the world:
- Tele-phone
- Tele-vision
- Tell-a - woman
You still want faster?
- Tell her not to tell anyone!

If you go on vacation or business to Europe look how you can tell fake Euro from the original one.

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense:
“My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offense committed by his limb.”
“Well put,” the judge replied. “Using your logic, I sentence the defendant’s arm to one year’s imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses.”
The defendant smiled. With his lawyer’s assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.

“Of course I won’t laugh,” the doctor said. “I’m a professional. In over twenty years I’ve never laughed at a patient.”

“Okay then,” Fred said, and proceeded to drop his trousers, revealing the tiniest penis the doctor had ever seen.

It couldn’t have been the size of a peanut. Unable to control himself, the doctor started giggling, and then fell laughing to the floor.

Ten minutes later he was able to struggle to his feet and regain his composure.

“I’m so sorry, “Said the doctor, “I really am….. I don’t know what came over me. On my honor as a doctor and a gentleman, I promise it won’t happen again. Now what seems to be the problem?”

“It’s swollen,” Fred replied