Posted by info | Posted in adult_humour | Posted on 30-11-2009
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Here is the bad humor joke for today.
A guy named Morris returns from the doctor and tells his wife That the doctor has told him that he has only 24 hours to live.
Given the prognosis, Morris asks his wife for sex.
Naturally, she agrees, so they make love.
About 6 hours later, the husband goes to his wife and says,
‘Honey, you know I now have only 18 hours to live.
Could we please do it one more time?’
Until he’s down to 4 more hours.
He taps his wife, who rouses. ‘Honey, I have only 4 more hours.
Do you think we could…’
At this point the wife sits up and says, ‘Listen Morris, I have to get up in the morning… You don’t
Posted by info | Posted in adult_humour | Posted on 25-11-2009
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Lessons From A Dog’s Life
If a dog was your teacher, you would learn stuff like:
When loved ones come home, always run to greet them.
When it’s in your best interest, practice obedience.
Let others know when they’ve invaded your territory.
Take naps.
Stretch before rising.
Run, romp, and play daily.
Avoid biting when a simple growl will do.
On hot days, drink lots of water, and lie under a shady tree.
When you’re happy, dance around, and wag your entire body.
Delight in the simple joy of a long walk.
Eat with gusto and enthusiasm. Stop when you have had enough.
Be loyal. Never pretend to be something you’re not.
When someone is having a bad day, be silent, sit close by, and nuzzle them gently.
When you are having a bad day, lick your balls
Posted by info | Posted in fuckshots, video | Posted on 23-11-2009
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When I watched this Blow Job Video today and it made me so horny that I like to have one. More bowjob at the world premier fellatio website Only Blowjob
Posted by info | Posted in adult_humour | Posted on 22-11-2009
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The wife came home early and found her husband in their bedroom making love to a very attractive young woman. And was somewhat upset. “You are a disrespectful pig!” she cried. “How dare you do this to me — a faithful wife, the mother of your children! I’m leaving you. I want a divorce straight away!”
And the husband replied “Hang on just a minute love, so at least I can tell you what happened.”
“Fine, go ahead,” she sobbed, ” but they’ll be the last words you’ll say to me!”
And the husband began — “Well, I was getting into the car to drive home and this young lady here asked me for a lift. She looked so down and out and defenseless that I took pity on her and let her into the car. I noticed that she was very thin, not well dressed and very dirty. She told me that she hadn’t eaten for three days! So, in my compassion, I brought her home and warmed up the enchiladas I made for you last night, the ones you wouldn’t eat because you’re afraid you’ll put on weight. The poor thing devoured them in moments. Since she needed a good clean up I suggested a shower, and while she was doing that I noticed her clothes were dirty and full of holes so I threw them away. Then, as she needed clothes, I gave her the designer jeans that you have had for a few years, but don’t use because you say they are too tight. I also gave her the underwear that was your anniversary present, which you don’t use because I don’t have good taste. I found the sexy blouse my sister gave you for Christmas that you don’t use just to annoy her, and I also donated those boots you bought at the expensive boutique and don’t use because someone at work has a pair the same.”
The husband took a quick breath and continued – “She was so grateful for my understanding and help and as I walked her to the door she turned to me with tears in her eyes and said, Please, do you have anything else that your wife doesn’t use?”
Posted by info | Posted in adult_humour | Posted on 20-11-2009
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DICTIONARY FOR WOMEN’S PERSONAL ADS
40-ish – 49
Adventurous – Slept with everyone
Athletic – No Tits at all
Average looking – Ugly
Beautiful – Pathological liar
Contagious Smile – Does a lot of pills
Emotionally secure – On medication
Feminist – Fat
Free spirit – Junkie
Friendship first – Former slut
Fun – Annoying
New Age – Body hair in the wrong places
Open-minded – Desperate
Outgoing – Loud and Embarrassing
Passionate – Sloppy drunk
Professional – Bitch
Voluptuous – Very Fat
Large frame – Hugely Fat
Wants Soul mate – Stalker
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Posted by info | Posted in adult_humour, babes | Posted on 18-11-2009
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This guy spotted a girl out in the street with the perfect tits and ran up to her and asks
- Sorry but I couldn’t help noticing your perfect breasts – would you let me bite them for a hundred dollars
- Fuck off
- How about a thousand
- No way, I’m not a whore!
- How about ten thousand?!
The woman thought for a while, after all that is a significant amount
- Well alright, but not right here.
So they walk into a dark alley around the corner, she takes
her blouse off and shows the most gorgeous pair of boobs in the world.
The guy starts fondling and caressing them, sucking
and kissing on the nipples, after a while the girl is getting a little impatient
- Are you going to finally bite them or not?!
- Nooo, ten thousand is a little too expensive for me
Posted by info | Posted in adult_humour | Posted on 13-11-2009
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A now, a little Friday the 13th joke:
A man bought a new Mercedes to celebrate his wife leaving him and was out on the interstate for a nice evening drive.
The top was down, the breeze was blowing through what was left of his hair and he decided to open her up. As the needle jumped up to 80 mph, he suddenly saw flashing red and blue lights behind him.
“There’s no way they can catch a Mercedes,” he thought to himself and opened her up further. The needle hit 90, 100…..Then the reality of the situation hit him. “What am I doing?” he thought and pulled over.
The cop came up to him, took his license without a word and examined it and the car.
“It’s been a long hard day, this is the end of my shift and it’s Friday the 13th. I don’t feel like more paperwork, I don’t need the frustration or the overtime, so if you can give me a really good excuse for your driving that I haven’t heard before, you can go.”
The guy thinks about it for a second and says, “Last week my nagging wife ran off with a cop. I was afraid you were trying to give her back!”
